There is a way to make inroads into communication with loved ones who have disconnected or shunned you because of their beliefs or orders from a cult. Quote the leader and his policies and then discuss how the policies are not being done. It is not easy for a group member to deflect the leader’s written policies and teachings. It can start a dialogue that sets the wheels of reasoning to start grinding through the dissonance. For instance, in Scientology, Hubbard wrote in 1965 that disconnection has been cancelled. Yet it is still in practice.
This is an excerpt from an advice I wrote to a mother who left the corporate church whose children are being convinced by the higher ups to disconnect from her:
“An inroad into dialogue with your son is to answer his text with something like, “Hi it’s Mom, thanks for the text about school….. (And answer his Q about school) I love you. I’m your Mom and don’t wish to be your enemy in any way. I know you have concerns about me to get handled in the church….. And I am concerned about you, too. We are both Scientologists, but I have disagreements with the current church not doing what LRH (L. Ron Hubbard) says. Like in Hubbard Communication Office Policy Letter 15 Nov 68 Ron says disconnection is cancelled. And yet your sister and you are told to do that. That is not what he says to do. This and other LRH policy is being violated…that’s why I am so concerned. I love you, Mom”
And I added: “I think the communications to the children should be LRH said this or that with the reference and not ‘I think…’ and ‘I feel…’. They won’t tend to deflect and reject that communication. Slowly they may begin to think for themselves. ‘Yes LRH said this and hey, the church is doing the opposite.’ Then the mind control may begin to unhinge, even if a little bit. It will be fruitful over time. That is your inroad and hopefully you can get a dialogue going with him. As far as your daughter who wishes not to communicate to you, maybe she will talk to your mom or dad, whoever she might receive some communication from, even in an email….
For instance, ‘Hi this is Grandpa. I am concerned for my family. You know I was reading about Scientology and saw that disconnection was cancelled by L. Ron Hubbard, yet I heard from your step dad that you are told you can’t talk to your mom, I don’t understand? Can you help me understand? I love you. Grandpa…’
You would put your text in your own words and also your challenge would be to find LRH policies and LRH technology and the references that the church is in direct violation with and then to send them to the children. I will help with that too, and there are posts from Michael Fairman and Luis Garcia that list out a lot of the contrary policies that you could dig up on Rathbun’s blog, but this policy is a good starting point.”
I hope this helps to bring your family closer.